It is nearly 3am, and I have been sitting here writing what may be one of the hardest sermons of my career as a minister. I have been writing a sermon on the stigmas of AIDS and how my colleagues and I have to bear the cross of HIV in order to set examples for our congregations.
This sermon has been difficult because it is not starting at zero with AIDS101, but is starting at 60mph by jumping in at advocacy for those who have no voice or who have lost it due to the stigmas of AIDS. I have poured over this topic for years, I have spent my research hours trying to find the best way to the center, I have lived, breathed, ate, and slept this topic for moths.
Now the service is finally here and I cannot put a word in motion. I cannot seem to write the words so near and dear to me that they seem to be almost part of me. I have created a communion liturgy and prayers, and I have created an order of worship, but I have held off to write the sermon itself because the words just swim around my head.
My only question now is do I read these words I have written in a vain attempt to commit something to paper, or do I step out and simply speak the jumbled mess that is in my head…Lord please help me to see clearly the purpose you have for this sermon and this day.
